As a common man in the society, sometimes when you visit the rich men in their house, you may find yourself in a confused situations, Just like this poor fellow, who was invited to have a one on one talk with a very wealthy man in his country home ranch.As he got to the house, the rich man invited him to have a seat. he obeyed and gladly sat down, there came the house maid (with the following conversations)
MAID: Welcome sir and what would you like to have, Fruit juice, Yogurt, Tea, Chocolate, Cappuccino, or Coffee?
GUEST: Tea please and thanks for asking.
MAID: What flavour of Tea, we have ....Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea,ginseng tea, kericho gold tea, bush tea or green tea?
GUEST: Ceylon tea will be fine for me.
MAID: how do you prefer it?,...black or white?
GUEST: white....
MAID: condensed milk, evaporated milk or fresh cream?
GUEST: Evaporated milk.
MAID: Goat milk or Cow"s milk?
GUEST: Cow’s milk.
MAID: New-Zealand cow or Australian cow?
GUEST: umm, l am ok with the New-Zealand cow.
MAID: would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
GUEST: sugar will do.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
GUEST: Cane sugar
MAID: White, Brown or Yellow sugar?
(By this time the guest ihas begun to be furious and irritated, and he angrily replied)
GUEST: What’s all the questions about, please forget about the tea, and just give me a
glass of water.
MAID:Ok Sir, Mineral water, tap water, spring water or distilled water?
GUEST: mineral water.
GUEST: mineral water.
MAID: flavoured or unflavoured?
GUEST: in-fact, I am no longer tasty, get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a Tumbler, Wine glass, Champagne flute or a beer mug?
GUEST: please I am begging you give me some freedom; What kind of problem is this? .....Never mind I will swallow my Saliva.
A
PSYCHIATRIC AND THE PILOT
One day, a plane was transporting thirty-five critical mental patients to another psychiatric hospital for better treatment.
During the journey, the patients were impatience and restless, they were
making lots of uncontrollable noises it became so noisy and uncontrollably that one of the insane patients stood up and
went to the pilot and demanded that the pilot should teach him how to fly an airplane.
The pilot knew that his request is completely impossible to grant for the safety of everyone in the plane,and at the same time, he never wanted to offend the patient or been cruel to him, so he thought of another impossible task for the patient to carry out before he could be allowed to learn how to fly the plane ( So the following conversations took place)
PILOT: yes please, don't worry bothe the co pilot and I will definitely teach you how to fly a plane but on a condition that you should first organize and control your friends to be quiet and never to make anymore noise.
PATIENT: Is that all? that is easy for me to do....(so he left and came back to the pilot after some 5 minutes later.)
The pilot knew that his request is completely impossible to grant for the safety of everyone in the plane,and at the same time, he never wanted to offend the patient or been cruel to him, so he thought of another impossible task for the patient to carry out before he could be allowed to learn how to fly the plane ( So the following conversations took place)
PILOT: yes please, don't worry bothe the co pilot and I will definitely teach you how to fly a plane but on a condition that you should first organize and control your friends to be quiet and never to make anymore noise.
PATIENT: Is that all? that is easy for me to do....(so he left and came back to the pilot after some 5 minutes later.)
PILOT: Are you back? Wow! so fast
PATIENT:I have done it, how about now? Do you still hear any noise?
PATIENT:I have done it, how about now? Do you still hear any noise?
PILOT: (Surprised and asked)no1 It's all peaceful now...Are they all sleeping? In fact, how were you able to do that?
PATIENT: That was simple, I just opened the door and asked them to go and play football outside!
And so they all went ........Don’t
worry they will soon come back when it’s time for food. I think it's your turn
to fulfil your own promise now.
The pilot heard this and he fainted.
COMMANDING WIFE
One Day an angry wife called her husband on the mobile phone and yelled at him
HUSBAND: Honey, do you remember that gold shop? Where you saw the diamond necklace and you
WIFE (Temper relaxed): Yes, my sweetheart, I remembered very well, how could I forget that Diamond.
HUSBAND: Do you remembered that day, I had no cash to buy it for you and I promised that I will surely buy it for you one day?
WIFE: (totally relaxed with a smile and a blushed): Yes my king, the owner of my heart, I remembered fully well!
WIFE: (Disappointed, she immediately answered back)Just come back home and eat your eyes today..foolish man.
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The pilot heard this and he fainted.
COMMANDING WIFE
One Day an angry wife called her husband on the mobile phone and yelled at him
.
WIFE: Where the hell are you? You have been gone for the past one hour.
WIFE: Where the hell are you? You have been gone for the past one hour.
HUSBAND: Honey, do you remember that gold shop? Where you saw the diamond necklace and you
totally fell in love with it.?
WIFE (Temper relaxed): Yes, my sweetheart, I remembered very well, how could I forget that Diamond.
HUSBAND: Do you remembered that day, I had no cash to buy it for you and I promised that I will surely buy it for you one day?
WIFE: (totally relaxed with a smile and a blushed): Yes my king, the owner of my heart, I remembered fully well!
HUSBAND:: OK! Good! I am in a barbing salon next to that shop cutting my hair
WIFE: (Disappointed, she immediately answered back)Just come back home and eat your eyes today..foolish man.
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WHAT HATRED MADE ME DO...AND WILL REGRET THIS FOREVER
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