HOW TO CHANGE AND DENY YOUR RACE- A VERY SIMPLE STEPS

A father and his son son were travelling by flight from Cameroon to Germany, so as  they were crossing the Atlantic ocean, there was a severe turbulence,

 Then the pilot announced: Ladies an gentlemen, please sit down and fasten your seat belt as you can see, the seat belt signal is switched on and we are experiencing a turbulence due to the gravitational pull of the ocean current as a result of the moon...our flight attendance will see to all your needs..Thank you.

 some few minutes later, there was another announcement, hello everyone Good afternoon this is the pilot speaking again, we are losing altitude and I will advice that all heavy luggages in the plane should be thrown out...Thank you

 A few minutes later, he called again; we are still losing altitude, please assist the cabin crews to dispose all luggages and handbags in the cabin...thank you.

As the plane continues it’s descent despite more things were being thrown out. The pilot announced again, “Still going down, we must throw out some people”

There was a big gasp from the passengers! Then the pilot added, “To make this fair, passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order according to your names. So he called A, A, is there any Africans on board?”

No one moved.

“B, B,... any Blacks on board?”

No one moved as well.

“C, any Coloureds on board?”

Still nobody moved.

“D, any Darkies?”

The little black Cameroonian boy accompanying his dad, was wondering then asked his father..... Dad, the Pilot has been calling for Africans, Blacks..even Darkies you didn't answer, so dad, ...What are we Dad?

His Dad replied, “Today son,  at this very moment, we are Zulus” The last of the alphabetical race.

BILL GATES

The following conversation ensued between a mother and her son. Enjoy it:

Mother: Dan. I have a confession to make. Which I should have disclosed to you long time ago but I didn’t know how you would take it. I’m sorry son, When I was nineteen years old, I slept with someone that is not your dad 23 years ago. But the truth is that person is your real father and not the one you know of.

Dan: Mum, Mum what kind of setup is this? Do you want me to believe this?...Just tell me how am I going to deal with this devastating news?!
You should be Jailed for this, this is child abuse,...This is a physiological, physical and mental torture you are chastising on me.

Mother: Dan...Dan Listen, I’m so sorry he was my first love and I could not marry him.for reasons That I wanted to keep it private. He is on the phone at the moment and wants to speak with his son for the first time ever. Please take the phone and talk to him, Don't turn him down please....

Dan: No I am speaking to No one!. I’ll never speak to him. Mr Mat is the only father I know and so will that be fullstop!

Mother: Please don’t be so upset. Just say something to him.

Dan: Ok, I will give him a piece of my mind!, I am going to insult him for treating me that way...for abandoning me, and will tell him I have already got a father. ( so Dan pick the phone)

Dan: Hello! Hello!! Who are you?
Caller: Morning Son, I am Bill Gates . I am your real father.

Dan:  Ha!Dad! Dad!! Dad!!! is that you? Thank God! Bill Gate?Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!! I didn't know it was you
Love you so much, dad..........

 Funny right

IN OTHER NEWS:

THE ACCIDENT AND THE POLITICIANS

HOW A PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT FLEW AN AIRPLANE (Tanjung Rambutan)

JOKES.......FUN....LAUGHS CORNER

THE PROBLEM WITH THE RICH

As a common man in the society, sometimes when you visit the rich men in their house, you may find yourself in a confused situations, Just like this poor fellow, who was invited to have a one on one talk with a very wealthy man in his country home ranch.As he got to the house, the rich man invited him to have a seat. he obeyed and gladly sat down, there came the house maid (with the following conversations)

MAID: Welcome sir and what would you like to have, Fruit juice, Yogurt, Tea, Chocolate, Cappuccino, or Coffee?

GUEST: Tea please and thanks for asking.

MAID: What flavour of Tea, we have ....Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea,ginseng tea, kericho gold tea, bush tea or green tea?

GUEST: Ceylon tea will be fine for me.

MAID: how do you prefer it?,...black or white?

GUEST: white....

MAID: condensed milk, evaporated milk  or fresh cream?

GUEST: Evaporated milk.

MAID: Goat milk or Cow"s milk?

GUEST: Cow’s milk.

MAID: New-Zealand cow or Australian cow?

GUEST: umm, l am ok with the New-Zealand cow.

MAID: would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

GUEST: sugar will do.

MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?

GUEST: Cane sugar

MAID: White, Brown or Yellow sugar?

   (By this time the guest ihas begun to be furious and irritated, and he angrily replied)

GUEST: What’s all the questions about, please forget about the tea, and just give me a

glass of water.

MAID:Ok Sir,  Mineral water, tap water, spring water or distilled water?
GUEST: mineral water.

MAID: flavoured or unflavoured?

GUEST: in-fact, I am no longer tasty, get me an empty glass!

MAID: Do you want a Tumbler, Wine glass, Champagne flute or a beer mug?

GUEST: please I am begging you give me some freedom; What kind of problem is this? .....Never mind I will swallow my Saliva.

 A PSYCHIATRIC AND THE PILOT

      One day, a plane was transporting thirty-five critical mental patients to another psychiatric hospital for better treatment.

                  During the journey, the patients were impatience and restless, they were making lots of uncontrollable noises it became so noisy and uncontrollably that one of the insane patients stood up and went to the pilot and demanded that the pilot should teach him how to fly an airplane. 
     The pilot knew that his request is completely impossible to grant for the safety of everyone in the plane,and at the same time, he never wanted to offend the patient or been cruel to him, so he thought of another impossible task for the patient to carry out before he could be allowed to learn how to fly the plane ( So the following conversations took place)


PILOT: yes please, don't worry bothe the co pilot and I will definitely teach you how to fly a plane but on a condition that you should first organize and control your friends to be quiet and never to make anymore noise.

PATIENT: Is that all? that is easy for me to do....(so he left and came back to the pilot after some 5 minutes later.)

  PILOT: Are you back? Wow! so fast

PATIENT:I have done it, how about now? Do you still hear any noise?

PILOT: (Surprised and asked)no1 It's all peaceful now...Are they all sleeping? In fact, how were you able to do that?

PATIENT: That was simple, I just opened the  door and asked them to go and play football outside!

And so they all went ........Don’t worry they will soon come back when it’s time for food. I think it's your turn to fulfil your own promise now.
 The pilot heard this and he fainted.


COMMANDING WIFE

One Day an angry wife called her husband on the mobile phone and yelled at him

.
 WIFE: Where the hell are you? You have been gone for the past one hour.

HUSBAND: Honey, do you remember that gold shop? Where you saw the diamond necklace and you

 totally fell in love with it.?

WIFE (Temper relaxed): Yes, my sweetheart, I remembered very well, how could I forget that Diamond.

 HUSBAND: Do you remembered that day, I had no cash to buy it for you and I promised that I will surely buy it for you one day?

WIFE: (totally relaxed with a smile and a blushed): Yes my king, the owner of my heart, I remembered fully well!

HUSBAND:: OK! Good!  I am in a barbing salon next to that shop cutting my hair

WIFE: (Disappointed, she immediately answered back)Just come back home and eat your eyes today..foolish man.

MORE INTERESTING STORIES NEXT PAGE:
WHAT HATRED MADE ME DO...AND WILL REGRET THIS FOREVER

I HATE MY MOTHER! SHE HAS ONE EYE..

During my recent discussions with a friend, He told me an unbelievable story, I could never kept secret. Though I tried to but the more I left this buried deep down inside of me, the more I got troubled within my heart ...I sincerely just wished I could keep it. And these were his stories: (According to him)        
         “My mom only had one eye. He said, " I hated her for it.... I never knew why. As her first child, I tried asking her why she only has an eye and not being like other attractive-beautiful mothers out there! Imagined how she looked down sadly, bit her lips, shook her head and said “never mind my son, I lost my eyes for the glory of God as a mother” … The question was not properly explained, her answer was so nauseating as she was such a despicable/disfigured embarrassment around me.  Worse still, she cooked and sells food in our school canteen for students and teachers to support our family. She was so half-blindly conspicuous, everyone knew her as my mother. Sometimes, I wished she could have looked for job elsewhere?.... Must she be around when I am schooling?  
         There was this one day during my primary school, where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed in the class with her sight, that I hid myself under the teacher’s table. How could she do this to me?Why must she keep following me everywhere I go?...What I did that day was to ignored her, but not until I threw a despicable and hateful look on her and then ran out. The next day, at school, one of my classmates mocked me with my mother's one eye, he said, ‘EEEE, your mom only has one eye!’
 In Fact and behold, I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear out of the surface of this earth. Then, I confronted her that same day and told her,
     

        "If you’re only going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" I yelled!...But my mom did not respond, she never felt bad… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted her out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied really hard, got an admission into a university in another state (Negeri) and furthered my studies. After graduation, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.
 All these happiness came to a standstill, on the day, my Mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t knew or met her grandchildren. When she knocked and stood by the door, my children laughed at her, they never knew her before now,and I was too ashamed to introduced her to my kids, so I yelled at her for coming over and uninvited. I screamed at her like a thunder accompanied with insults, "How...How...How dare you come to my house and scare my children!

     GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!, NOW!! , I said NOW!!!" till I pushed her her out. And with this, my mother quietly said to my children, "Oh, kids, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address, I think I had lost my way" she turned around and she disappeared out of sight. Few months later, day, a letter regarding a secondary school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I decided to check the old shack house that I once lived with my mother, just out of curiosity. Getting there I met no one, I asked of her whereabouts from one of the Kampung (Village) neighbors. He told me my mother is dead.. I did not shed a single drop of tears...after all, thats all I have been praying for.
       The neighbor handed me a letter that my mother had wanted me to have before she passed away.
  When I opened it, this is what I found.......

         “My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and my one eyed visibility scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not even be able to get out of the bed to see you. I’m so---so sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

     So I gave you mine. That day, I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in
my place with that eye. Stay well With all my love to you
,Bye... 
your mother.
                 "Immediately her son was overwhelmed in the pool of tears,he cried all hell out... but it was too late..

              You 

 might call these unreal or a fallacy  but just think twice, search your heart, could this be you? Could you in any way acted like this? Never neglect your Mother ....No matter how ugly they are just have it in mind that they were once young like you, they had once sucked breast milk like you, but due to age, they gradually degenerate in nature so that you could generate in statutes. There is no blessing humans had ever wanted and desired than the completions of the perfect love of a mother’s ability to procreate and nurture.
       Please teach your children to learn to love their mothers because this will make them proud. Or else one day, you will cry when she will be gone. Be proud of your mother!

READ AHEAAD AND ENJOYWICKED DENTIST PRANKS
   

WHAT IS SWEET ABOUT MARRIED WOMEN THAT ENTICE MEN TO CONTINUE HUNTING FOR THEM

I have been thinking a lot and hope I don't get confused. I have been wondering what kind of charms, enigmas and natural Voodoos could constantly magnetize men (Young men, Old men, Single men, and even a married man) to tempestuously fall in love with married women knowing fully well that they are already married. Ignoring the sanctimonious-facts that, going for and romantically looking around for a married woman, are both religiously and morally sinful and a deviance to peaceful societal laws. So before I delve further, allow me to dog-leg a little with this short story.

        A man went for a hair-cut in a barbing salon, there he saw a pretty young lady sitting   patiently in the shop, suddenly the man turned to the lady and said, “ woman you are so pretty, can we meet later today for a dinner? And then we could take it to the next level?” The lady replied, “I am sorry but I’M MARRIED.“ The man doesn't want to take “No” for an answer, so he replied, “It's OK that you are married but you can't just trust your husband completely as well, he could also have a girlfriend somewhere secretly.But the lady insisted and replied, “It’s none of your business and for your information, I trusted my husband completely”. quickly the man interjected her and asked the young lady  again, “...Is your so-called trusted husband, at home at the moment? She replied, “No he is at work and he is very busy” the man raising his voice and said ...Do you see what I mean? How could you know for sure that he is busy? Your husband could be very busy sleeping with another woman while you are here defending him. “In-fact, a lot of innocent women are been fooled that way” …He continued. “ Ok now, let’s do it this way, just give your husband an excuse that you are going to the hospital to visit a friend of yours. The woman quickly replied, “OK! Tell him yourself, because he’s the one shaving your beards with the silver knife!”, Oh No!!  He exclaimed and looked at the barber with fierce angry face, brandishing a sharp shaving blade waiting for him to say anything, The man was gripped with involuntary shock, fear and spinal surprises as he sprang up immediately from his chair and ran away for dear life, once he got to a safe distance, he stopped to thank his God, that he would have ended up dead that day. He never knew that the woman's husband was the same barber shaving his beards and that woman had come to visit her husband at his place of work.
             . .....Readers, do you think he had learnt his lesson?   “No”“This is another mission impossible for this man or other men out there. The sexual Insatiability of men frolicking with married women has been there since ages and will continue to be there. But legal constitutions have kept it to mediocrity.

         Unconfirmed Statistics today, shows that men loved to be in a romantic relationship with married women rather than  with the single girls. Why is that? I asked.

 Some women who would agree with me,said that they knew  this is not a matter of beauty,but rather the curses, sensual urges  that pushed men to frolic or flirts with married women is not about beauty at all, but the natural in-built of non- satisfactions attacking men. Men will have uncountable reasons to give you while falling for a woman's love or chosen a married woman than a single girl. They are not enchanted to them because of their education.

  There are lots of reasons like I had said, but the ultimate truth is a challenge, men loves to compete amongst men, when they see some married women with their husbands or alone, they could begin to mentally radicalized their thoughts “Wow! this woman should have been for me”, I wish I could see through her clothings, “I want to see what she is got down stairs” “Wow the colour of her flesh is palatable and succulent curves”." I love her back-side, she has a big butts, she is well trimmed...Big butts.. ....millions and millions of thoughts would flashed inside men, seconds per seconds....”Oh what a lucky husband that would command this queen of the orient”.....This woman does not suit him at all" When a man likes a married woman, you can see some weird smiles, weird nodding of heads, weird questions like...Do you want or need anything?

              In the news we have heard a lot of broken marriages, divorces here and there, but have you sat down and calculate how many of those divorces got disgorged by men sleeping with another man’s wife?... What the hell is going on? What do you see in a married woman? why causing a chaos and disunity in her home? and rendering the innocent children to a state of destitution to suffer the latter consequences of their divorce.

     Sometimes ago, I had a chat with a man about this matter to find his stance and explanations on this subject, he said, 

    

      As I quote “The reasoning differs from men to men. Many of us, think that a married woman is a sure thing. In other words, they assumed that a married woman has a maternal kind of love caring and understanding, genuine love of second chance, when a married woman falls in love with you , it's with a difference, .....a sweet difference because she will compare that love with the one one given to her husband, her love is exclusive than the single girls because they have been there and knows what it takes to be romantic, appealing and appetizing. , Other men reasoned that married women are less difficult to catch. Those that caught them said they only need to be romantically tuned to the woman’s favorite channels of love. such as their kids, to show you will protect the her children with all manners of securities....trying a problem solving methods or probably going further to breaking the woman’s self defense approach by introducing an emotional highway to her.(Abang,sibuk kenapa kacau lah! busy body hold your peace!) etc
          In the real sense, majority of men felt they could get more pleasure in their relationships with married women. The temptations are always there in the eyes of men. Men considered it safe to frolic with married women than young unmarried ladies, during the course of eventualities, a married woman  in deep romantic relationship with you, will protect the man in anyways and whatever it takes. So these men felt so secured and safe with this kind of relationship even when it is also unfortunately hazardous.

Married women are sweet to bring out the inner-Tigress inside them than the single unmarried ones, some says what matters most is when they give you the keys that unlock their full grown sexual desires with no string attached to it. It is indeed they don't attached any strings strings to their love as long as you promise not to hurt her kids.

         Describing the feelings men get from this kind of relationship, they said, "What they felt and gain in this type of relationship was like a  mantle and anvil of conquest placed on their hands, It was really great eating the forbidden fruit of sweet and soured tastes.

  

   Some other men go for married women because she belongs to someone else and it will allow him in some level, to feel more dominant over the other man. Men just would want a woman who belongs to someone else because, he believes that it is the idea of the chase and seduction of a woman that gives him the ecstasy of love.

Some men flirt with married women because they are married themselves which will allow them to connect with another woman without worrying about being judged for being married. 

Some men like the idea of going after a woman who seems unachievable. The pursuit of the woman is fun and exciting and when they get the woman the feeling of accomplishment is more than most men can handle. Chasing a woman who is unattainable is often more fun than getting the woman. Some men don't like commitment. When a man wanted a canal body contact or want someone to talk to, and gets full concerns and understanding is to seek a married woman.

     

       A married woman do not have higher demands for material things..... unlike the Single- unmarried ones.

My perspectives were not based on the women but only on the men’s viewpoints.

 So Finally, I think it would be best if men were careful, and pay more attentions to their wives rather than Sleeping with another man’s wife...It is dangerous. If those, who were killed by these actions could come down from hell to narrate how they were punished or suffered before their deaths, then you will know that dating and having a canal relationship with married women is a two edged sword of sweet and bitter blades. it's either you hurt someone, or you get yourself hurt ...Thank you.