MIYRANET FUNNIEST JOKES CORNER: ....DON'T SAY I TOLD YOU


 HOME PROBLEM

An 18 year old boy always disturbed and asked a married woman out, the woman got pissed off due to the naggings and went to inform her husband about the incident. The husband told his wife to invite the boy over so that he could beat the hell out of him; his plan was to secretly hide under his bed when his wife would lure the boy into their bedroom. The woman did as her husband requested .when the boy got in, he fondled the woman and took off his T-shirt which showed that his body were battered and full of razor scars, anxiously the woman asked him; why could there be so many scars on his body?  
       The boy replied; I have lived all my life sleeping with married women, I just can't resist a married woman and the problem is most of the time, I get caught by their husbands, so, I have since changed my methods, I have been killing the husbands of all women I slept with, in-fact if someone should show up now, ....he will be the number 27 on my murder list. Then the boy continued touching the woman, to alert her husband, she stretched an arm towards her husband for rescue, and there was no movement from the man, she used one of her leg to reach out to him under the bed, there was no answer as well so she pinched him, then a small husky whispered voice came from under the bed saying,

"Leave me alone; don't you just hear what the little boy has done to all men? Do you want me to get killed in my own house? Please just leave in peace, I want to live long to bury my mother.


MEDICAL DOCTOR
   Mat went to Machong to his hometown to visit his elder brother after finishing his SPM (Secondary School). When he got there, the following conversation took place:
Abang (Elder Brother): Adik, it’s been a long time we’ve heard of you, how you are doing, and how’s your result in the SPM (Secondary school certificate exams.)
Mat: Abang: It’s fine, and that was part of the reason I had come to Kelantan and meet you about what we earlier discussed….Last time we discussed about my SPM result, and you made a promise to me so I want to become a doctor and treat people.
Abang: Wow that is good, interesting!, splendid! so how many A’s ….excellent or distinction or at least Credits do you have?
Mat: I only have 1 Credit in sains pertanian and another "P" in Bahasa Melayu
Abang: Hahahahahaha! That’s good but to be sincere, it’s only a Bomoh (Herbalist) you can use your certificate to Practice and then use your pass result in Bahasa to cast spells and incantations on your customers…Foolish boy.... a medical doctor indeed!

DIVORCE PROBLEM

A man and his wife were in the courtroom for marriage divorce, the problem is who gets the custody of their only child. The WIFE... jumped up and said, “Your honour I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody...... Then the Judge turned to the husband and asked what has he to say! The MAN replied calmly "your honour, let me put it this way ...if I put my ATM card into an ATM machine and cash comes out... whose cash is it....... the MACHINE OR MINE?


PROSTITUTE
You see these days markets are booming well in Asia, unlike Europe some businesses have taken advantage of the booming economy to expand their business by opening more business branches. Sometimes ago, a female pros....te. Went to meet a surgeon, she smiled and explained to him that she wanted a new hole. The surgeon was so surprised that he asked her why she would love to create another hole to her body.
  She smiled and responded, “Doctor my business is good and booming these days, with plenty of customers to attend to, every business is also expanding so with these, I have decided to open a new branch”
 The Doctor heard it and fainted.

  
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