JOKES AND FUN -A TALKING PARROT

 A   TALKING PARROT

A lady wanted to buy a parrot; she went to a store in Selayang and she pointed to a parrot and asked the sales man. "What is so special about this parrot?"  The sales man replied, "It can talk" Then the lady asked the parrot “how do I look” The parrot replied “you look exactly like a prostitute". The lady was embarrassed and turned to the sales man and said “I can't buy such a rude parrot". The store keeper pleaded with her and said “please wait a little while I feed the parrot peradventure it is hungry”  he took the parrot to the back of the shop and dunked it inside a bucket of water, when he brought it out of the water he said to the parrot  "insult that lady one more time and I will dip you inside this bucket of water again and again till you drown" he took it back to the lady and said " please ma'am ask the parrot another question;

Lady: If I come home with a man, who is he?

Parrot: Your husband.

Lady: Two men?

Parrot: Your husband and his brother.

Lady: Three men?

Parrot: Your husband, his brother and your brother.

Lady: With four men?

Parrot: (Then the parrot has had enough and could not keep its anger anymore so it yelled to the salesman) Get that bucket of water and dunk me again I don't care because, I have already told you, she is a PROSTITUTE!!!!!

YOU WON’T BELIEVE THESE

1. Two missionaries Went to the deep Amazon forest, and got apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large cauldron of water,  they built a huge fire under it, and left them there.

         A few minutes later, one of the missionaries began to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't understand why! He asked, "What's wrong with you? We're being  kidnapped and boiled alive! Don't you know they're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The other missionary said, " They don’t know, I just peed and pooped in the soup‘.

ESCAPED CONVICT

A Man escaped from city Jail where he has been for been for the past 15 years. He broke into a house to look for money and other things to steal but finds a young couple on their Bed.. He ordered the man out of his bed and tied him to a chair.  Then he went to the woman, gets on top of her and tied her to the bed as well and kissed  her Neck, After that he  gets up and went straight to their Bathroom. While he was still in there, the Husband called his wife and , "Listen sweetheart, this guy is an escaped convict, you can notice by his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in Years. I saw how he kissed your neck, if he wants anything from your body, please don’t resist, and satisfy him because he is very dangerous he could kill us both if you refuse. Be strong Honey, Love You"

            So his wife responded, " Sayang, (Darling) He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in to my ear that he was Gay. He thought you were cute and asked if we had Vaseline. I told him that it was in the Bathroom.  Oh Sayang Be Strong ...Do it for both of us ......Honey I Love You"

A LADY WITH A RING-HOLE

  

This lady went to seek a doctor’s help complaining that her ring-hole was in a terrible state, really bad.

Doctor: "What happened to you?"

She says: "I was on a safari trip to Kenya and I got raped by an elephant!"

Doctor: "But I don't understand. Elephant genitals are very narrow and couldn't cause that much damage!"

She says "Aah but you don't understand, see doctor, the elephant fingered me first!"
 The Doctor heard this and collapsed.

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