HOW DO YOU BECOME IRRESISTIBLE TO WOMEN

Understanding how to be irresistible to women is every man’s dream, but not every guy can enjoy the luxuries of this fantasy in reality. Want to be that guy who can charm his way into any woman’s heart?
The Glance
This is something you will have to understand and master. The art of glancing.
It’s all about doing it with panache and class. It’s about perfect timing, and holding the glance to the exact millisecond.
When you're sitting down at a cafe , in the sweat park, or dinning in the restaurant, the glance is your best weapon.
But it also has a lot of chances of backfiring if you don't wield it well, especially if you slouch or sit with an ‘uncool’ posture. Then it would only make you look stupid.
How to use the glance
You will have to stare at this woman you want to woo from across the room, and wait until you catch her eye. When you make an eye contact, look away in less than half a second, but with just a hint that shows that you’ve been watching her.
Now wait. Just wait for a minute, and look again. Catch her eye again and hold the glance for exactly three seconds, but this time, have ‘the look’ you’ve read about in the introduction on your face! Do the glance thing a couple of times after that.
Make her wonder
Now this is when you get her thinking.
She notices a guy, who’s interested in her, but this guy is not overdoing it, he’s just mildly interested in her. She wants his attention, and she wants it now! Even at times when you're not staring at her, you will have to do anything and everything with class, the way you move or talk should show assertiveness. You know she’s looking at you now and then, and wondering when you’re going to look again.
Now look occasionally, but look away even as she is staring at you. Never stare until the girl looks away. If you do, you'll lose points. Always make the girl eager to know more.

The Alpha Male
The Alpha Male is the biggest, baddest and the best male in the camaraderie. If he is out with his friends, he takes decisions. His friends listen to him. He talks and people listen. He’s a great conversationalist. He is the leader of his pack of friends, or at least he behaves that way.
Now you be the Alpha Male! Enjoy yourself with your friends, make them laugh. Make decisions yourself, and make decisions for others. Tower above the rest of your pack. A woman always wants to be with the Alpha male, a leader, the decision maker, and the one who'll protect her. There can be two or more alpha males at times. Even if you are one of them, that’s good enough. You will still stand out of the crowd.
The Move
Plunging into the icy Atlantic is scary. It’s bone freezing cold and you wonder if you can survive. Even the charming guy, Jack, couldn't do much as he swam in the Atlantic when Titanic sank. What chances do you have? Plenty.
First of all, you're not in the Atlantic, nor do you have Leo trying to woo the same girl. That’s a good start for you. Making the move to talk to a woman can seem like a very daunting task, but if you could master the earlier arts of the perfect male, talking should be a breeze already, what with all the oozing confidence.
I'm not going to elaborate here, this is a very natural step that is as unique as you can be. You could do just about anything here, walk up to this person, even if she is with her posse of giggling girls, who already know why you're approaching them, or you could step in closer and wait for the moment when she’s alone (which usually never happens.
 Here, again, your words don't really matter, it’s all mostly in your tone and your composure, and that wickedly sweet smile of yours!
Even if the damsel is proud and pretends like she isn't interested in knowing you, you can still go on with your words, adding humor and a line that makes her understand that you can't imagine leaving the place without knowing her, and spending a few moments to get to know her better. Be calm, however much you feel the situation slipping away from you. If you want to pester her to talk to you, even if she declines it, do so deftly coating your words with a lot of charm and elegance.
If you can pull it off at the first try, that’s just perfect. It's called the beginner’s luck! If you’re not very confident, practice it a few times in different situations, when you’re alone and bored. It definitely helps you become that much more smoother. If it doesn’t work in any rare circumstance… well, don’t tuck tail and run under the bed. Remember that even the best moves can go wrong. That shouldn't really stop you from approaching anyone else. Remember, approaching a woman you admire is wonderful, and it’s always a great feeling if you can pull it off your way.
Learn from your mistakes, and very soon, you would be able to approach just about any girl without a single sweat bead on your brow. And if you are worried about the others who just watch and wait for you to fail, just to get their laughs – screw them. and you will be with the best girl in the world!

THESE 13 UNEXPECTEDS WILL OCCUR WHEN YOU DRINK PINEAPPLE WATER FOR 7 DAYS

Pineapple, Ananas comosus, belongs to the Bromeliaceae family, from which one of its most important health-promoting compounds, the enzyme bromelain, was named. The Spanish name for pineapple, pina, while we Malaysians call it Nenas.(Buah Nenas).
 In summary, Pineapple is an excellent source of vitamin C and manganese. It is also a very good source of copper and a good source of vitamin B1, vitamin B6, dietary fiber, folate, and pantothenic acid. When you drink Pineapple water in the morning for 7 days, these miracles below will transform your health.

1. FIGHTS INFLAMMATION : Bromelain has strong anti-inflammatory properties. It helps the body eliminate toxins by fighting off inflammations that affect tissues and organs. Regular consumption of pineapple aids in the treatment of arthritis and sports injuries by reducing inflammation and relieving pain.
2. PROTECTION AGAINST MACULAR DEGENERATION: Data reported in a study published in the Archives of Ophthalmology indicates that eating fruits such as pineapple, per day may lower your risk of age-related macular degeneration (ARMD), the primary cause of vision loss in older adults, by 36%, compared to persons who consume less than 1.5 servings of fruit daily.

3. HEALTHY WEIGHT LOSS: Thanks to its high fiber content, pineapples take more time to digest, and thus makes you feel full for longer. Pineapple water prevents sugar and fat cravings. Thiamine converts carbohydrates into energy and boosts metabolism.

4. FLUSHES PARASITES FROM LIVER AND INTESTINES: Bromelain has anti-parasitic properties. Some studies have shown that a three-day pineapple fast kills off tapeworms.

5. EFFICIENT THYROID FUNCTION : Pineapples are rich in iodine and bromelain. These help in the treatment of many autoimmune disorders, and relieve thyroiditis-associated symptoms.

6. BALANCE ELECTROLYTES: Potassium found in pineapples make your body stronger and maintain proper electrolyte balance, thus preventing cramps or injuries.

7. REMOVES HEAVY METALS AND TOXINS : Pineapple is packed with fiber, enzymes and antioxidants that cleanse the body from heavy metals and toxins.

8. DIGESTIVE AID : Bromelain stimulates the body to digest proteins more efficiently.

9. STRENGTHENS GUMS, WHITEN AND PRESERVES TEETH:  According to Dr Frawley, bromelain is a natural stain remover. It breaks up plaque efficiently.

10.PREVENTS FREE RADICAL DAMAGE: Pineapples are a rich source of antioxidants (1). They fight against free radicals in the body, preventing cell damage. These antioxidants help protect you from diseases like atherosclerosis, heart diseases, arthritis, various cancers etc.

11. STRONG BONES: Rich amount of manganese present in pineapples helps in strengthening bones and connective tissues (3). A cup of pineapple juice gives you roughly 73% of the required manganese for a day. In other words, drinking pineapple water will fortify your body with necessary manganese.

12.CURES SINUSITIS, SORE THROAT, GOUT SWELLINGS:Pineapples are a great source of bromelain which help prevent sinusitis. Pineapples are also effective in curing sore throat, gout and swellings

13.IMMUNITY: Vitamin C in pineapple boosts your immune system due to its strong antioxidant effect 

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HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY MARKET YOUR SMALL BUSINESS

There is no time to waste and beat around the bush, it's better to hit the nail at the head, for Time wait for no one and to successfully market your business to your audience or would be Customers, you must follow the steps described below.

1. DO NOT PANIC: I started with this word because fear is an emotional response induced by a perceived threat, which causes a change in brain and organ function, as well as in behavior. Fear can lead us to hide, to run away, keep us away from our life's purpose. As the saying goes..Venturing is the mother of invention. Online marketing can seem scary, boring, unfamiliar, tedious, stressful at first. Relax your mind, look for your personal keyword, what are the driving force, what is your reason to become an entrepreneur, do you think you are mentally and psychologically matured enough to handle a business of your own at your age? Answer the questions and you will see you are ready to go.

2.PLANNING: Your business plan should be your unshakeable foundation: planning are the general building blocks of your business, your plan should be the one that satisfies the journey of  "BY" not "AT"(...I will explain these terms in my next article). Get yourself organized, analyze your would be competitor, prepare to make sacrifices, be creative and make sure you understand the risks and rewards. Your planning should have a keyword.For example, who are your customers? would it benefit women, children,men, animals etc. What are the long term benefits to your own society, how important is your products and services to the world. Where is the situation and location, your capital or how would you fund it. These should be what your plans would look like and you can add more to them.

3. CREATE YOUR BUSINESS ONLINE: Once your business is set up, you should also take the time to create it online as well in order to reach a wider customers, make a larger profitable impacts and expand your market or brands afar for recognition. No matter what your business is like, make sure you create a brand name or special logo for your business. From the day one start building your email lists, this is a kind of leverages to your site, one single email list can turn your business around, give incentives,make a product promotions, give them a reason to sign up to your site because they will be reading your articles daily or weekly.

4.WATCH AND LEARN FROM OTHER BUSINESSES: You can't stand alone, it's the same way as you can't comfortably drive a car without a side or rear mirrors, search online or go out to business (Industrial)areas and search for businesses similar to what you do, from there you might be able to see what you do wrong or right. Ask questions in the online forums in fact you can learn a lot from them. Make research on your competitors to get inspirations and learn new ways to sell your business. When it's a season time and they are giving out discounts, make sure you are not left out, do the same. Running a competition is another very effective way to market your business. Use a good prize or reward to entice customers. It also gets people talking about your brand. Social media sites like Facebook can be great for promoting your competitions and can also attract new followers for your business.

5. MAKE SURE YOUR BUSINESS/WEBSITE CAN DELIVER RESULTS:  This is where the Term relationship and behavioural economics comes into play.  The answer to unlocking the potentials of business connections has been right under our noses all along: authentically engage with customers, prospects, and audiences on social media. Using the power of a genuine communication skills to a cultivate long-lasting relationships with your customers and online audiences that will result in true business ROI. While behavioural aspect, is how our market decisions are made and the mechanisms we established that positively move on the public choice,  it explores why people sometimes make irrational decisions, and how their behaviours does not follow the predictions of business models. How does your behaviour profitably affect your business, do you think you are over reacting towards satisfying your customers and online audiences, what are your feedbacks, how do you handle customer's satisfactions and complaints. In addition, attractive website can make your business look professionally salivating. But the real benefits will depend on functionality and ability to acquire customers for your business. If your website is outdated, consider a redesign.

6. USE VIDEOS TO MARKET YOUR PRODUCTS: Videos are very popular with consumers today and offer an excellent way to market your business. There are many ways a small business can use videos as part of their marketing strategy. Displaying product videos on website is a very effective way to increase sales. Studies show that  customers are much more likely to buy if they see a video on your product or service landing pages. You can also start your own YouTube channel to post your videos as well as share videos of other users that are relevant to your target market.  Commenting on videos relevant to your niche is another way to engage with users and increase your brand visibility.

If you are creating your own videos, don't limit yourself to promotional videos about your products or services only. Creating instructional videos that can help your targeted audience to solve common problems will get far more coverage than promotional videos.

7. OPTIMIZATION OF BUSINESS STRATEGY,(The use of 5W1H): Why you are doing, what you are doing? You must have clear objective of doing something especially on a commercial level like creating a marketing strategy. Without well-defined objective(s), creating and implementing any strategy could result in waste of both time and resources.   What:Creating and implementing any strategy requires time, cost, subject matter expertise and other resources. So you need to determine exactly what is involved in creating and implementing your strategy. Who: These people can be you, your colleagues, boss, stakeholders, employees, clients or other target audience. Every strategy requires the input of one or more people or is directed towards one or more people. So you need to know exactly who is involved in the creation and implementation of your strategy and who will benefit from it (your company, clients etc). Where; This is the direction in which your strategy should move so that you can get highest possible return on your investment. The ability to move in the right direction and at the right time is what separates a good strategy from a bad strategy.When; A strategy needs to be time bound in order to be cost effective. Without deadlines there is no urgency. You can create your strategy next week or after 2 months. Without deadlines every goal is achievable. That is why it is imperative that every goal and strategy must be time bound. How; exactly how you will create your strategy or how you will implement it. How successful will you be, how much efforts have you invested in your business, how cost effective are you.

With all these facts I hope you will benefit a lot in your businesses..Keep in mind.."NEVER LOSE FOCUS".

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BEST WAYS TO FIGHT AND PREVENT MEMORY LOSS

The most of things that worries people above the age of 40 is about growing older and also the fear of losing your memory. Where people would rather find it hard to remember names, facial differences,numbers, etc

There are some fairly obvious things to avoid if you want to maintain good brain health. 

These include smoking, becoming overweight and developing Type 2 diabetes. But what can you positively do to enhance your brain? 

An experiment was carried out recently at the Newcastle University with 30 volunteers were recruited to find out how memory loss can be avoided.

The test was to measure things like memory, ability to problem solve and general psychomotor speed (reaction times).

Everyone was then fitted with an activity monitor to measure how much and when they were moving.

The volunteers were then randomly allocated to three groups and asked to do a particular activity for the next eight weeks.

One group were asked to walk briskly, so that they were just out of breath, for three hours a week. 

The idea is that walking - in fact any form of vigorous exercise - will keep your brain fed with lots of oxygen-rich blood. This was not a popular choice with some.

"Walking is my least favourite activity"one of them said.

The second group were asked to do puzzles, such as crosswords or Sudoku. Again they had to do it for three hours each week. The reasoning behind this approach is that your brain, like a muscle, benefits from being challenged. Use it or lose it.

The final group were asked to take part in an art class which also happened to involve drawing a naked man, 

THE RESULTS:

By the end of eight-week trial, almost everyone in the (Brisk)walking group noticed a big improvement in their general health - how much easier they found managing a particular hill.

Some of the second group had found the art class hard at first, but by the end of the eight weeks many were hooked and swapping Sudoku tips.

The most enthusiastic group, however, was undoubtedly the art class. 

"I have become a compulsive drawer of everything," says Simone. "I have been out to buy myself some pastel pencils and even a book on 'How to'paint... So, art equals pleasure, but which group enjoyed the greatest improvements in brain power? 

    All the groups had got a bit better, but the stand-out group was those who had attended the art class.

It seems the naked man, had made a big impression.

But why should going to an art class make a difference to things like memory? Clinical Psychologist Daniel Collerton, one of our experts from Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Trust and Newcastle University, says that part of the benefit came from learning a new skill. "Learning something new," he says, "engages the brain in ways that seem to be key. Your brain changes in response, no matter how many years you have behind you."

Learning how to draw was not only a fresh challenge to our group but, unlike the puzzlers, it also involved developing psychomotor skills. Capturing an image on paper is not just intellectually demanding. It involves learning how to make the muscles in your hand guide the pencil or paintbrush in the right directions.

An additional benefit was that going to the art class meant that for three hours a week they had to stand while drawing or painting. As we've shown before on Trust Me I'm a Doctor, standing for longer periods is a good way of burning calories and keeping your heart in good shape.

The art class was also the most socially active, another important thing to bear in mind if you want to keep your brain sharp. This group met regularly outside class, were keen to exchange emails and there was a definite social aspect to this intervention.

All of which meant that this group enjoyed a triple benefit when it came to boosting brain health. One of our volunteers, Lynn, says that learning to draw had produced other, unexpected benefits.

"Part of my job involves writing and pitching bids, which is a difficult and lengthy process," she explains. "I am dyslexic which is an added hurdle. But having done the art class I found that my writing now flows and my ability to concentrate has improved. It seems to have opened my mind. I'm not sure I can explain it properly, I just know it made a difference."

It is likely that any group activity which involves being active and learning a new skill will help boost your brain. Ballroom dancing, anyone?

Here are six of the best ways to prevent memory loss.

1. Engage Your Brain

If you want to keep your body in peak physical condition, you have to exercise your muscles. The same can be said for the brain: you must engage in daily mental exercises to keep the mind sharp.

There are many ways to do this each day that feel more like fun than work.  For example, play cards with friends or by yourself, take a new route to work, download a free brain game app to your phone, learn a new language, join a club, etc.  Anything that challenges your brain will help keep your mind sharp.

2. Go For A Walk

Walking stimulates more than just your muscles; it can actually help ward off many diseases that attack the brain.

Best of all, walking doesn’t have to be strenuous.  Simply grab your favorite pair of walking shoes and get outside for a half hour each day. Pay attention to your surroundings, sing a song, try to memorize the names of streets, etc.

Anything that keeps the brain active will help improve memory while keeping diseases like dementia and Alzheimer’s at bay.  Plus, walking also helps fight off high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes.

3. Stay Socially Active

Join a new social club or social media group, hang out with friends more often, or become active on a hot topic discussion forum. All of these keep you socially active, and the more brain connections you have each day, the better you become at preserving memory and mental function.

When you’re social, the brain has to recall names, conversations, and facts from the previous day, which in turn strengthens cognitive function and enhances memory.

4. Get Plenty Of Sleep

When you feel lethargic, your concentration and attention levels go down significantly.  If you have difficulty getting a full nights sleep, try to avoid eating large meals before bed, avoid caffeine after dinner, and start going to bed the same time each night.  Keeping to a nighttime routine makes it easier to relax and fall sleep and can lead to greater concentration in the morning and throughout the day.

5. Utilize Brain Tricks

Playing little games with your brain each day can be one of the best ways to prevent memory loss.

Each time you come in contact with a person, begin to associate their name with an object. When you meet Bob, think of a buoy in the ocean.  When you meet Phil, think of a full glass of water.  When you see Frank, imagine a thick juicy hot-dog on the grill.

These little games you play with your brain not only help you remember things more vividly, they also force you to make mental connections that help the brain stay more active each day.

6. Eliminate Stress From Your Life

It may not seem obvious, but one of the best ways to prevent memory loss is to eliminate as much stress from your life as possible. Higher levels of stress lead to more cortisol in the body which makes it more challenging to recall information.

Excess stress is extremely bad for the brain and speeds up the memory loss process. Focus each day on something that can relieve stress like yoga, meditation, or getting a massage.

If you feel that you are losing your memory even after trying some of these techniques, consult with a doctor to see if certain medical conditions like depression, diabetes, or thyroid disease are causing issues. The problem may stem from medications you are currently taking, in which case the doctor can make a change in the dosage or offer an alternative prescription to help eliminate the problem.

WHAT HAPPENED IN 1974? ..............YOU NEED TO KNOW

As we continue to pray for the peace and Unity of Malaysia, we should not allow those who will ruin our Holiness,spirituality and strength in This fasting month, we are almost there, don't Listen to rumour mongers Malaysia is our home and let's build it together. So with this, I have decided to bring some laughters into our hearts.

BRAINLESS PROFESSOR:
  In a philosophy class, a professor was telling his student about metaphysics which follows below

PROFESSOR: Look around everybody!

STUDENTS:(They all turned and looked around in Amazement)

PROFESSOR: Can you see God?

STUDENTS: No

PROFESSOR: It means there is no God!
(Meanwhile there was this Class Rep. who could not agree with his statement shouted)

CLASS Rep: My fellow students, please look at our professor's head, can you see his Brain?

STUDENTS:(Replied) Nooooooooooooooooooo

CLASS REP:This simply means, our professor does not have any brain...Does he?

ILLITERATE FAMILY
 One day, a mother called her 8 years old son and asked him 4x4=? The boy said twelve(12)
his mother was angry for getting it wrong and she brought out Rotan(cane)
and started beating him.The heard the noise and asked his wife:

FATHER: What is the problem?

MOTHER: I asked him a simple 4x4=, and this dull head of a son does not know it

FATHER: Is that why you were beating him, do you want to kill him?

MOTHER: This is your fault, this boy took after your brain, in my family we are all brilliant and intelligent.

FATHER: OK..OK..what is 4x4? tell him since he doesn't know it...4x4 is what?

MOTHER: 4x4 is 14

FATHER: Wow! Nasib Baik! God has saved you, I thought you don't know it.

FAT WOMAN
  One day a very fat lady came out of a gym and she was angry, so one lady went to meet her and asked what was the matter

LADY: Why are you angry? Is anything the matter?

FAT WOMAN: I am not going back to this gym again, I was always embarrassed by the scale...I hate it!

LADY: Why?

FAT WOMAN: Anytime I stepped on it, it says...."ONE AT A TIME..ONE AT A TIME..ONE AT A TIME....

WHAT HAPPENED IN 1974


There was an old man who was on a Rapid bus(inter-city transport system)He entered the Rapid Bus from Titi-wangsa to KL. On that day, the bus was so full of passengers, everyone was struggling for space inside the Bus.
So his wallet fell down from his back pocket unknowingly and somebody picked it up secretly without giving it back to him. So when it was time for him to pay the bus driver, he touched his back pocket , there was no wallet,
he felt it again with his hand but nothing, then he shouted aloud:

OLD MAN: Who took my wallet, who snatched my wallet, if nobody tells me, what happened in 1974 will repeat here today

OLD MAN:(SHOUTED MORE LOUDER) I said who took my wallet or what happened in 1974 will occur here today, what happened in 1974 will start here today
(There were some women in the bus who started to be afraid, because they never knew what had happened in 1974, So they said:

 WOMEN: Please whoever stole this man's wallet should bring it out, please we are begging you, try and bring out his wallet, we don't want any problem.

So as the women were still pleading, someone in the bus dropped the wallet and everybody were happy the wallet was found

OLD MAN: Thank you all for giving back my wallet to me, or else what happened in 1974 would have struck here today,(so he took his wallet and paid for his bus fare then sat down.
After a while there was another curious man in the bus, he asked sir, please can you tell us what actually happened in 1974 we are curious and we would like to know because of History.

OLD MAN:(REPLIED) HMMMM! In 1974, this type of thing happened where I lost my wallet...
passengers; And then what happened

OLD MAN: I used leg to go home....That's what happened, I walked with my legs to my home.

in fact everybody in the Bus where all murmuring
The boy who stole the wallet just Hissed and fainted, he thought it was a big issue.

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DADDY HOW WAS I BORN

Sometimes most parents faces some kind of difficult questions from their kids. Some kind of questions that will throw you off balance and when you are not strong enough you will give a weird answers...This is one of those questions

A little boy went to his father and asked 'Daddy, how was I born?' His father was shocked by the question and how he would answer his son,

FATHER: ...Hm...well...Hmm'Well, son, It's a long story but I will cut it short for your understanding....I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! ....Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Facebook. Then I set up a date via Gmail (e-mail) with your Mom, and we met at a cyber-cafe. in Jalan Ipoh, We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and that was you:


This is another one, and this is a warning to some women who still shower in the bathroom with their son, still thinking they are kids: Read and be warned:

One day, a 4 years old boy was taking a showr with his mom, so the boy asked his mom pointing to his mother's pvt part and said Mama,... What is that? Mom answered "It is a car park, the little boy still confused and pointed to his own pvt part, "Mom what of mine, what is it? Yours is a car. This very answer made the little boy to be more confused ..After a while the boy asked his mom, "Mom can I pack my car inside your car pack? ...Immediately his mom shouted "NOOOOO! Your Daddy's Luxurious bus is already parked inside.

There was a man who always buy a beans POW snacks for his son whenever he was coming home from work. He never misses these Brown Pow sequence,5 days in a week, he must buy it and this has been going on for years. His son had already got used to eating  brown beans POW. But on this day his dad was so busy and tired on his way back from work that he forgeot to buy his son the usual Brown Pow. When he got home, his son ASKED dad where is my POW? Dad answered Oh Son, I am sorry I forgot to buy it for you. Don't worry I will buy as many as you want tomorrow, The little boy insisted and asked again Dad I want my POW...I want my Pow, It's a lie you have never forgot buying me a POW. His father replied It's true son but today I was so busy at work and forgot to buy you the POW. He didn't believe his dad so his father was angry and left him in the sitting room to go and take some shower, still his son was crying after him..Dad I want my Pow...I want my POW...Dad my POW.The father just ignored him, and started started pulling of his clothes, so as he bent down to remove his shorts, the boy saw something that looks like the Pow and quickly dashed forward and grabbed his Dad's POW POW!!, he pulled it and said Daddy I know you have been joking this is the pow. This is my POW! as he was yanking it, his father was in pain and shouted "Son this is not a POW...This is not a POW you will cut it..This one is my own ....

A PROFESSOR AND THE BOAT MAN:

One day, a professor was travelling on a transport boat, he was going to do some research in the sea. On their way he asked the boat sailor

PROFESSOR: Hey do you know biology,ecology?

SAILOR: No Sir,

PROFESSOR:(He smiled and said)Part of your life is gone.

SAILOR:(He was speechless and sad because truely he can neither read nor write.

PROFESSOR: Do you know morphology, zoology, parasitology & Entomology?


SAILOR: No sir, ...what is that? is that a human being?

PROFESSOR: What! I said it! and I knew it, part of your life is gone and you will die of illiteracy.

 (At this time the Sailor decided to be quiet, he was unhappy for his life, ....but as they were going in the sea, there was a great wind and ocean current, the boat was about to sink) so the sailor called the Professor and said:

SAILOR: Sir do you know swimmology?

PROFESSOR: NO..Why?

SAILOR:Do you know Escapology and Riskology?

PROFESSOR: No.. I said why are you asking?

SAILOR: Mr. Professor, If you don't know swimmology and escapology at this very danger, Sharkology and Crocodiology will eat your bodiology and you will Dieology because of your Mouthology....
  And now all your life is gone, mine is only a part because of illiteracy but when you drown all your life is gone.

The professor fainted

THE WOMAN AND THE PHARMACIST

A woman who felt being cheated by her husband went to the pharmacy to buy DDT¦
The pharmacist felt the woman was going to commit suicide so before he gave the drug, he questioned the woman about what she was going to use it for.

But to his surprise the woman said

WOMAN: I am going to poison my husband.

Pharmacist: Hey! No!! why do you want to kill your own husband don't you know that it's a crime and punishable by law?...

WOMAN: YES I KNOW! (but after several arguments with the pharmacist and having the feelings that the pharmacist could order for her arrest she started crying, Then she brought out an envelope from her bag and dropped it on the pharmacist's Desk.
The pharmacist opened the envelope only to see the pictures of his dear wife and his client's husband naked on the bed
The pharmacist shouted: ALAMAK! ... Are these photos real? ... You don't mean it at least you should have told me you on time that a doctor asked you to buy the drugs. so Please take it ...Take it now go and use it well

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THE STORY OF A PRESIDENT AND THE QUEEN

THE STORY OF A PRESIDENT AND THE QUEEN

A PRESIDENT AND THE QUEEN
 One day, a president met with the Queen of England. He asked her,Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me? I want to help other countries Well...., said the Queen, the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.

 The president frowned, and then asked,But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent? The Queen took a sip off her cup of tea and replied "Oh, thats easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.Then the Queen pushed a button on her intercom.Please send David Cameron in here, would you? David Cameron walked into the room and said,Yes, Your Majesty?

 The Queen smiled and said,"Answer this for me, please. "David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is the child? Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered,That would be me. Yes! Very good,said the Queen.

 So the President went back to his country, called his Secretary and asked the same question,answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. Its not your brother and its not your sister. Who is it? "Hmmmm Hmmm...I'm not so sure..., said his Secretary Let me get back to you on that one. The president also went to his personal advisers and asked everyone, but none of them could give him an answer. Finally in Parliament, the Secretary ran to the Chief Justice and asked, "Justice, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and its not your brother or your sister. Who is it? The Chief Justice answered sharply,

 "Thats easy, its me!" The Secretary smiled, and said, Thanks! Then, he went back to speak with the president. Sir,I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. Its the Chief Justice. The President got up angrily,frowning, he shouted to the Secretary and his advisers "No wonder the country isn't moving forward, because I don't have intelligent people around me.! You Idiots! The answer is David Cameron! .....Illiterate Morons !!!!